Please & Thank You

Dear all customers of the world,
I am writing to remind you of something you may have forgotten.  Your mamma said it once, said it a thousand times and yet it has not quite stuck in your mind. 
I'm not just talking about "kids these days."  Some of the perpetrators are old as well as in-between.
Now, I'm not talking anything crazy -- or am I? 
When I ask, "how are you/how is your day going?" I don't necessarily want to hear about your mom/grandma/cat etc.  However, "gimme a medium ameri-canna" is not an appropriate answer.  Ever.  Nor is, "I'll take a [fill in the blank.]"  A "fine, thanks" would suffice, or dare I say, a smile.  Just acknowledge the question and me as a human being rather than a slave -- please & thank you.
The magic word is still magic.  If you don't know how to get off your iphone and talk to me like an adult, then you don't deserve to be served.  If you don't say please and thank you, just know that I am hoping you burn that silent tongue of yours clean off!
We all have crappy days, but saying a few kind words cannot make it worse.  In fact, maybe it will make you happier. 
So please, mind your manners.  Thank you.
Sincerely,

Your fellow human being & barista